would you like a little salt with your highway…
I had to drive into the middle of nowhere to do a gig in a ski resort town. It was actually pretty awesome and I enjoyed the show. The drive was crazy though, we had to stop a few times because there were mountain sheep on the road. They just sit there and eat the [...]
Kind of disgusting … if your offended easily
Wow is it cold out where I’m at (Alberta, Canada). I don’t know who originally settled these cold areas. They must have come in summer and built a nice house. Then when winter came they were like “crap, we have a nice house we’ll have to tough it out”. Cold weather kills all the ugly [...]
Hit Man… More like Hit Boy or Hit Neanderthal.
I went to see that movie Hit Man today. It wasn’t all that good, I like going to see movies that are based on a book or in this case a video game. They usually suck and there is always some body complaining “It wasn’t the same”. Of course it’s not going to be the [...]
Bran Muffins any one…
I did a show for some old people, the crowd must have been like 75 plus. They were having fun, and at one point I got flashed. I had to tell Ole Earl to put his shirt back on. I think one of them passed away during the show, they put a blanket over him [...]
Can you hear me now. Oh your deaf… awkward
I did a radio spot this morning to plug my upcoming show in Edmonton Canada. It was fun, usually at least 50% of the time doing radio sucks. But this was all good. A lot of comics hate getting up so early, as you have to be at a station usually by 6am to catch [...]
Breathe through your mouth then…
I was at a comedy club and they have this area in the back where they want comics to sit. It smelled like feces, and I don’t know if this happens to anybody else but some times when some thing stinks I do a double check to make sure it’s not me. Because you never [...]
Is that frosting on your face… or mustache dandruff
I like pizza, I had some for dinner tonight. I use to deliver it, and the people that I worked for were always grumpy. You have to make pizza with love, it is a happy food. You never see anybody eating a pizza pie and there grumpy. This could be one of the reason there [...]
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down…
The busy season is kicking in. My calender is filing up like the Red Hot Chili Peppers at a heroine buffet. I enjoy what I do and the busier it gets the more excited and happy I am about it. This has been the first time in my life that I have been on tour [...]
Oh thats just disgusting…
I get a lot of random emails, its nice some times. I like talking to randoms. It can get out of hand, occasionally I get an email from somebody who wants sex. If your a hot chick no problem, but some times I just get an email from some dude that says “I want in [...]
Speaking of what in the hell…
I was walking down an isolated hallway, and there was a gentlemen about 30 feet in front of me. He must not have heard me behind him because he let a big pant ripping fart go. I ended up walking right into it, there was no where else to go. I think the worst place [...]
