Things went well last night at my show in Vancouver, it had a good turn out in spite of the fact it was on a Wednesday. It’s getting busy now; I play a little bit of every where over the next few months. I like being on the road, some people aren’t cut out for it and get all crazy. I think having a job from 9 to 5 every day of the week is crazy, but that’s just me.

In a few month block I will have traveled over 20, 000 miles, been in four different countries and play more than 25 cities. That is the life of a comedian, very similar to that of a low life drifter on the run from the law.

JU

www.JamesTheComic.com

Upcoming shows:

Port Coquitlam April 24
Victoria April 26
*Penticton BC April 27 * last minute gig
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14
Missoula June 30
Pocatello July 1
Idaho Falls July 2
Billings July 3
London England TBA
Edinburgh Scotland July 31-August 25

I went to the 420 celebration in Vancouver yesterday. Wow it was full of teenagers; the average age must have been 15 . I told some kids that at least they had a hobby, they didn’t like that and gave me the giant L on the for head sign. Their braces shot out sparks as they passed the bong around.

The masses of the hippie humans gathered around with rolling papers in hand, playing the favorite sport of the hippie, hackey sack. It was not a bad time though, every one was really friendly. I have some footage I will post up later.

A few people couldn’t handle the good times and threw up a giant mixture of nachos and pizza. I stood around with other spectators and watched as people walked through it. That’s what TV must have been like in the middle ages.

JU

www. JamesTheCoimc. com

Tour dates:
Vancouver: April 23
Port Coquitlam: April 24
Victoria: April 26
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14

I’m in Vancouver right now and the amount of homelessness is baffling. They must have more hobos here per capita compared to parking meters than anywhere else in the world. I should get them to flyer for my upcoming show and I will pay them with schizophrenia medication. It is sad though, people with no real home yelling their opinion at high volumes to other people who really don’t care…. hey wait a minute. In my defense I get a microphone that kind of separates comedians from your typical street wanderer.

It snowed here last night, which is strange as it rarely snows in Vancouver and the fact that it is April is even more baffling. It will probably kill most of the flowers and the hippies will have nothing to stop and smell.

The show I’m doing is on a Wednesday which I’m not to happy about. But the producer is aggressively promoting it so that puts me at ease. I have a feeling it will be a good turn out, so if you’re in Vancouver come and check it out or I will kick you in the nadicles.

JU

Tour dates:
Vancouver: April 23
Port Coquitlam: April 24
Victoria: April 26
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14

I’m in Seattle right now and it is raining, go figure. They need the falling water to wash off the filth that is the people who are whining in this coffee shop I’m at right now. Some thing about peeps who think they need to talk at an extreme volume on how bad there life is. Well guess what, it can’t be that bad if you’re slamming back a Chai latte and have some guy with a weird hat to comfort you.

Keep your problems at home, or write a sad song and sing it at poetry slam. Whining doesn’t help anything; it just prolongs the agony. Try and work on some solutions, and don’t wear so much denim you’re not in an 80’s rock band. But then again who am I to give advice, I’m just some stand up comic with an insatiable hunger for laughter and sugar free redbull.

JU

www.JamesTheComic.com

Tour dates:
Vancouver: April 23
Port Coquitlam: April 24
Victoria: April 26
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14

If I ever get married I’m going to give my wife the arm of an African Villager, really it’s the same thing as a diamond. It baffles me how people can cherish something totally covered with blood. Of course I’m writing this all curled up in my panda fur blanket.

I’m in Portland Oregon right now; it’s a nice city but it’s still kind of the Wild West. You can still smoke in bars, and punch some one for swearing in front of your wife. It’s a weird contrast, because there is a lots of hippies here and plaid is very common. I’m just waiting for a hacky sack match to break out at any moment. People are really friendly, I like it.

I’m in a coffee shop in San Francisco right now; this town has some interesting stuff in it. Lots of parks and beaches, also the women don’t wear a lot of make up so you can have a preview of the in the morning face JJ . In contrast though, the guys wear lots of make up keeping the cosmetic industry thriving in the area.

They are not franchise overloaded here which is great. The big chains are around but you have to look for them. Instead of having a McDonald’s on every corner they have a million tiny restaurants with a great menu. The city gets a little pricey but for a few extra bucks you get some thing made from actual palatable ingredients not ground up newspaper and pig lips.

JU

I have some shows coming up, if you can come check them out I’d love to see you out:

Vancouver: April 23
Port Coquitlam: April 24
Victoria: April 26
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14

For more details go to http://www.JamesTheComic.com

I got into San Francisco last night I like this place, the streets are filled with hipsters all decked out in retro gear reminds me of Fresh Prince. The hills in this city are nuts if you go down some streets the angle is extreme enough that it adjusts your junk, they call it free dangling. And by junk I mean your bits and bites.

Every thing is a coffee shop and some thing else. If you need to go coffin shopping don’t bother stopping for java, because they will have an espresso machine and can whip you up a latte. But this place is great, and you should throw it on your list of places to visit

JU

http://www.JamesTheComic.com

Upcoming Shows:
Vancouver
Victoria
Port Coquitlam
Edmonton
Calgary
Regina
Saskatoon
Cranbrook
Toronto

I’m on the road for a few months starting tomorrow. I enjoy a long adventure; some times I pretend like “I’m on a mission from God” to quote The Blues Brothers. I like all the crazy people you can meet and some of the funky destinations.

I play a lot of rock bars and I like going around looking at all the pictures on the wall of bands that have played the venue. The 80s bands are my favorite, with the big hair and the introduction of cocaine they were fueled up on a mixture Columbian dandruff and styling products. Wow those must have been the days, but I was stuck in grade school learning how to play duck, duck, goose.

They could have probably done with out all the drugs. When you look at most of them now they appear to have been dehydrated for the last 2 decades like they were stored in box with some salt and had to use a soda cracker for a pillow.

JU

Tour dates:

Vancouver: April 23
Port Coquitlam: April 24
Victoria: April 26
Edmonton: May 3
Calgary: May 4-7
Saskatoon: May 16
Regina: May 17
Cranbrook: May 23,24
Toronto: June 14

It has been a fun week; I was in Tempe Arizona for it. I believe Tempe is where they invented the wet t shirt contest, or at least perfected it. Colleges towns are always fun to play due to the combination of drink specials and the fact that most people aren’t from the area so they willing to let loose and not have to worry about being judged.

Arizona is at hot as hell and it was only spring time. They have an abundance of redheads which is weird because of the constant sunshine. I imagine it is the freckle capital of the USA, it has pale ginger people scurrying around looking like they’re on fire. Hiding in the shadows of the cactus waiting for the night time, where they can consume 50cent corona’s and feed on the pigment of those with normal complexion.

JU

www.JamesTheComic.com

Upcoming shows:

Vancouver April 23
Victoria April 26
Edmonton May 3
Calgary May 4-7