Vegetarians can bite me… or could they?

Vitamins do more then make your pee smell funny; they allow you to eat things shaped like the Flintstones. Why don’t they have vitamins of modern day characters and from adult shows, like for Dexter or Porn stars? For these questions I have no answers, just insight. Vegetarians.

I don’t think people wouldn’t want to eat things shaped like other humans. Which brings me to my point, can vegetarians eat animal crackers. (That’s the oldest joke in the book)

If you put a vegetarian on an island with human eating plants maybe they would reconsider their ways. There are different types of Vegetarians; some don’t eat meat because of religious beliefs. Then there are those who don’t want to kill intelligent life, and to them I want to introduce the cast of Jersey Shore. And then there are some who are just against the principles of how meat is manufactured i.e. slaughter yards, and mass production.

Ultimately there are many more ways people decide to not eat meat, but they all fall basically into two categories. Annoying and Less annoying.

Annoying: This is the type of person who inserts their vegetarianism into every conversation. What the hell is with that, nobody cares.

Less Annoying: These people you have no idea are a vegetarian until you have to order a pizza together. That’s when you’re stuck getting something awful that nobody likes.

I’m going to create a new type of diet called don’t be a B*tch. That’s when if you eat with other people nobody cares if you don’t consume meat, if you are allergic to nuts or don’t like pineapples. You’re going to eat it and you’ll like it, I believe this was the same type of diet that my grandparents generation had. They were tough people; if you had a nut allergy you were dead.

I’m only kidding; you have to conform to the non conformists. If you have people over for dinner, you have to make sure there is no meat and that it’s Hallal and Kosher and that the food is all natural and with no pesticides or herbicides. In the end the only thing you can serve is grass. So have your dinner in a field, call it a pick nick and you can graze like cows. Lets have a cow PARTY !!!

JU

-The vegetarian ninja waited for the carrots to be sleeping before he picked them